Arnett Fired by NBC, Rejected by Al Jazeera



BAGHDAD, IRAQ- MSNBC fired veteran corespondent Peter Arnett after the reporter told state-controlled Iraqi television that the American-led campaign against Iraq had "failed" due to the tenacity of the Iraqi people. Arnett later apologized for the remarks explaining that, taken out of context, they had been grossly misinterpreted. Arnett then referred to Hussein as "a really nice guy once you get to know him," described September 11th, 2001, as a "victory for Allah and all the party people," gave away the ending to Unbreakable, and offered to "suicide bomb" his own network headquarters if it would impress Hussein's inner circle.

In his defense, Arnett now says his bootlicking was all a front designed to secure an interview with Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. That sounds like a shrewd gambit until one considers that Arnett sacrificed his career in an effort to interview a man who is, in all likelihood, dead. Arnett contends that such an interview would be at least as interesting as the one Dan Rather conducted in the weeks leading up to the invasion.



Rivera: "Crap, Did I Just Say That?"
For more than two decades, respected daytime talk show host and serious journalist Geraldo Rivera has built a reputation for no-nonsense reporting, unafraid to bring to light many items others are too afraid to report. Just recently, Rivera heroically disclosed secret Coalition troop movements on live television and was subsequently kicked out of Iraq.
Pentagon officials now say that Rivera's verbal slip was only a minor problem. They assert that he was ejected from the region because the ever-macho reporter, in spite of repeated warnings, continued to behave as though he were fighting the Republican Guard himself.

Rivera: As I file this report I can feel bullets whizzing past my head, nearly grazing my once-chiseled features.
Pvt. Stillson: Um, no one's shooting at us, Mr. Rivera.
Rivera: I doubt I could get much closer to the action. The tracers you can see behind me show that at any moment this area could explode in a maelstrom of blood and death. Pvt. Stillson: Whatever you're smoking, I'm pretty sure it's against Army policy.

According to representatives at Fox News Channel, Rivera's mustache will stay on to file occasional reports from the front lines.



When news of Arnett's comments surfaced, so many people called to complain that it took quite some time for NBC executives to get a call through to Arnett to let him know he'd been fired. To fill the airtime, MSNBC broadcast a slow-motion loop of a billowing American flag. When programming resumed as usual, viewers complained again, demanding the hypnotic flag come back. Network brass are currently considering giving the flag its own channel.

"This is not about censoring a reporter," said NBC News President Neal Shapiro. "This is about common sense. One of the highest ethical tenets of broadcast journalism is that you always root for the winning side. I think it shows that Arnett's finally lost it. What the hell was he thinking?"

The 68-year-old correspondent made a name for himself during the first Gulf War in 1991 by sucking up to Saddam Hussein and 20 years earlier for glowing stories about Ho Chi Minh. His lesser known reports "Milosevic: Helluva Guy" and "Painting the Town Red With Aidide" also garnered respect and praise from his colleagues.

The bad news keeps coming for the seasoned correspondent, however. News editors at Al Jazeera have rejected Arnett's request to join their team, explaining that Arnett is just "too Anti-American" to appeal to their audience.

On top of that, Iraqi sources now say that their government will not grant Arnett's offer to become an embedded reporter with the Republican Guard.

In spite of this, those who know the scrappy reporter say they are confident that Arnett will somehow land on his feet. Until then, Arnett says he will keep busy and earn some extra cash by firing 50mm shells at American troops from his hotel balcony.

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